Category: Personal Growth

3 Crucial Life Lessons from a Father’s Failure

~ Marie Blair ~ 2 Comments

He fell off his seat backward, broke his neck and died. That’s how life ended for Eli, the high priest.

I’ve read the story of Eli, his corrupt sons, the routing of the Israelites by the enemy Philistines and the capturing of the precious Ark of the Covenant many times.

But today when I read it, it made me cry. For Eli.

Even though this God-appointed priest seems to have started out well, Eli’s forty years in that position did not result in the godly legacy that he might have hoped for.

Failed Fatherhood

Eli’s sons were priests like their father. But the Bible calls them sons of Belial – worthless, good-for-nothings.

They did not know the Lord.

They stole from those who came to offer sacrifices.

They defiled the house of God by laying with the women who served there.

It appeared that they did whatever lustful thing they desired, robbing and abusing the people who came to worship and serve.

How did these rebellious sons get away with their debauchery? Sadly, Eli didn’t hinder them. All he did was warn them that their behavior was deadly, saying,

“If one man sins against another, God will mediate for him; but if a man sins against the Lord, who can intercede for him?” (1 Samuel 2:25a).

But those words of warning did nothing to stop them and the Bible tells us why.

“But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for the Lord desired to put them to death.” (1 Samuel 2:25b)

Why did the Lord want to put them to death? It’s likely because Eli and his sons had been dishonoring God and the people for quite some time. Their time to repent was up.

God sent a prophet to rebuke Eli for putting his sons before God and making themselves fat with the choicest of every offering that the people brought to the sanctuary. God tells Eli that his bloodline will be cut off and his legacy ended in disgrace.

A Great Loss

Eli arrived at the end of his long life a weak, overweight, disgraced man. What sent him over the edge to death was the capturing of the Ark of the Covenant.

The enemy Philistines stole the precious presence of God from their midst. There was nothing left. Eli had been caring for the ark for forty years and now it was gone.

Now Eli was ninety-eight years old, and his eyes were set so that he could not see.  The man said to Eli, “I am the one who came from the battle line. Indeed, I escaped from the battle line today.” And he said, “How did things go, my son?” Then the one who brought the news replied, “Israel has fled before the Philistines and there has also been a great slaughter among the people, and your two sons also, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead, and the ark of God has been taken.” When he mentioned the ark of God, Eli fell off the seat backward beside the gate, and his neck was broken and he died, for he was old and heavy. Thus he judged Israel forty years. (1 Samuel 3:15-18)

Eli failed.

He was gluttonous and greedy.

He raised sons who were lustful and treacherous.

He couldn’t protect the ark of God.

Eli lost.

He lost his opportunity to leave a legacy of holiness and fidelity to God.

He lost his sons who the Lord himself killed.

He lost the most precious object on the planet, the ark, the carrier of the presence of God.

He couldn’t control himself.

There are only a couple of times in the Bible that we read that someone is heavy. This is one of them. Eli ate more than the priest’s share of the offerings that the people brought.

He couldn’t control his sons.

Hophni and Phineas were adults, but they were ungodly priests whose behavior should never have been allowed to go on.

I never used to relate to Eli. I saw him as a man who make huge mistakes and paid for it. I saw him as weak but never anything like me. That has changed.

God’s Mercy in Our Weakness

Now that I’m older, and I’ve raised my two sons into adulthood, I see the story somewhat differently. I can relate to Eli’s mistakes.

Maybe I was too hard on my oldest son when he was a teenager.

Maybe I didn’t require enough of my youngest.

There were times when I lacked self-control and raised my voice.

Did I ever place them above the Lord in my heart?

It amazes me that God gives these tiny helpless humans to parents who are so imperfect. In our 20’s and 30’s we haven’t yet learned so many lessons that would make us better parents.

We still tend to be selfish, impatient and lacking compassion. It’s parenting that helps to mature us, but in the process our kids can get hurt.

It’s painful. The past can’t be changed.

I can ask for forgiveness. I can do things differently now. That’s all good. But I can’t alter the consequences that came from my choices.

My hope and peace come from knowing that God loves and forgives and works all things together for good for those who are called and who love him. (Romans 8:28).

I’m grateful for that promise because I need him to work out a lot!

As hard as it is to see my mistakes, it gives me empathy for people like Eli.

The Bible tells us about folks with less than stellar records on purpose.

We relate to their weakness.

We learn to ask for wisdom in our choices, so we avoid the same mistakes.

3 Life Lessons from Eli

  1. Love and honor God above everyone and everything. Eli and his sons put themselves before God.

Therefore the Lord, the God of Israel, declares: ‘I promised that your house and the house of your father should go in and out before me forever,’ but now the Lord declares: ‘Far be it from me, for those who honor me I will honor, and those who despise me shall be lightly esteemed. (1 Samuel 2:30)

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. (Mark 12:30)

  1. Don’t wait to turn around. Eli and his sons didn’t turn from their sins.

And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. (1 Samuel 3:13)

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:10)

  1. Develop self-control. Eli and his sons didn’t restrain their lusts.

Why then do you scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and honor your sons above me by fattening yourselves on the choicest parts of every offering of my people Israel?’ (1 Samuel 2:29)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

There is Hope

Eli, Hophni and Phineas came to a terrible end.

Sadly, there are people all around us that go down the same road. We see it in the news and in our own backyard. But it doesn’t have to be that way!

If we will surrender our hearts to the Lord, he will give us the ability to love and honor him first and above all and not make our children into idols, serving them first.

The Holy Spirit will lovingly convict us of our sin so that we can repent and be set free from the burden and shame. One day at a time.

He will give us the fruit of self-control so that we do not fall into temptation.

There is always hope!

God sees, knows and cares. We can find encouragement in the fact that he will never stop working all things out for our good and for his glory.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. – Jeremiah 29:11-12

The Source of True Strength

~ Marie Blair ~ Leave a comment

In our house, we have a multi-purpose room. What’s in there? My computer, printer, filing cabinet, stationary bicycle, a guitar and a 6-foot table sporting boxes of photographs as I’m working through scanning them all.

On the wall is a gun rack and a picture with a quote about faith from Corrie Ten Boom. It’s an eclectic room. One of the things that takes up the most space is my son’s weight bench, sidled by an intimidating stack of weights and two 20-pound dumbbells.

I can barely pick up any of the weights, while the men in my house pick them up like they are made of paper. The men in my house are a lot stronger than me.

But the strongest man who ever lived is someone we read about in the Bible in the book of Judges. His name was Samson.

The Strong Man

Samson was the deadliest threat that his enemies, the Philistines, had ever seen.

We pick up the story after he had humiliated their leaders with a riddle they couldn’t solve.  He destroyed their grain fields by putting torches between the tails of 300 foxes, tying them together and sending them running through the fields.

He had broken through ropes like they were thread and killed 1,000 men with the jawbone of a donkey.

Samson had to be stopped.

After this he [Samson] loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the lords of the Philistines came up to her and said to her, “Seduce him, and see where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to humble him. And we will each give you 1,100 pieces of silver.” Judges 16:4-5

They couldn’t stop him with their hands, so they had to go through his heart. They promised a huge reward to Delilah if she could find out the secret to his strength. Delilah consented.

After a few tries, Samson finally spilled the beans. His strength lay in his uncut hair. That long hair was a symbol of the Nazirite. The evidence of his devotion to God.

Once his hair was gone, so was his might.

Of course, it wasn’t really his hair that made him strong. It was his relationship to God. A Nazirite was set apart for service to the Lord, not drinking wine or strong drink, and avoiding contact with dead bodies, eating according to the Mosaic Law.

By revealing to Delilah that his hair was the secret to his immense strength, Samson betrayed his vow to God and forfeited the blessings that came with it. Including his power to protect his people and himself.

The Weak Man

In verse five of chapter 16, the lords of the Philistines tell Delilah that they want her to “seduce him, and see where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to humble him.”

The word translated “humble” is the Hebrew word “anah”, which can also be translated “humiliate”, “afflict”, “oppress” and includes the idea of browbeating and looking down upon someone.

Samson became a source of gloating and amusement for the Philistines after they cut off his hair and he became as powerless as they were. Samson’s foolish confession to a woman he loved resulted in the loss of his strength, honor, integrity and ultimately, his life.

In the end, God granted Samson one last act of power as he caused the building to collapse on the Philistines and himself. But he was defeated and humiliated. Just as the Philistines wanted.

True Strength

The true strength of a man is not in how much he can bench press or how tall he is. It doesn’t increase if he’s in law enforcement or if he’s a professional athlete. A man’s power is in his connection to God.

As long as Samson kept his vow to God to leave his hair uncut, he had whatever power he needed to defeat his enemies. After he broke his promise, he became the laughingstock of the region and has gone down in human history as a fool.

It’s a blessing to have strong men around the house to lift what I cannot. They open jar lids that are stuck, tote heavy boxes into the attic and move furniture around with ease.

But if there were no men in the house or they were not able to do these things, we could still get them done one way or another. That’s why jar-opening tools and hand trucks were created.

However, there is no substitute for a man whose life is devoted to God. The man who finds his strength in Him.

Wisdom, uprightness, faith, patience and perseverance show the true power of a man.

The man who stands firmly devoted to God even in temptation, is the man who will prosper and fulfill God’s unique and vital plan for his life.

Even if he’s no Mr. Universe.

“The way of the Lord is strength to the upright…” Proverbs 10:29a

“Let Your hand be upon the man of Your right hand, upon the son of man whom You made strong for Yourself.” Psalm 80:17

“You, therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.” 2 Timothy 2:1

“A wise man is strong, yes, a man of knowledge increases strength. For by wise counsel you will wage your own war…” Proverbs 24:5-6a

God of the Waters

~ Marie Blair ~ Leave a comment

 

Sparkling, rumbling, swishing

A bouncing, dancing, stream

In hidden celebration

Of life that’s truly free

 

A little girl exploring

Spies the happy display

Joins the joyful dancing

Delighted in the play

 

Vast Pacific Ocean

Mighty, majestic and grand

Your forceful waves are crashing

Against the cliffs and sand

 

A woman’s heart seeks solace

She finds near you God’s peace

With power and with passion

Your soothing waves don’t cease

 

Mighty Lord of every ocean

Kind Lord of every stream

Both very great and small things

You’ve made to speak to me

 

For my joy and for my comfort

Your waters always rise

Their beauty and their power

Fill my heart and eyes

 

You draw me ever closer

By the waters that you’ve made

Whether by flowing or by crashing

They’re calling out your name

 

Then I join in with them

As I shout and I sing

To the glorious God of the waters

Grateful praises to my King

Our Hope

~ Marie Blair ~ Leave a comment

 

Triumphant King!

To you we sing

Your victory is sure

 

Though pain and loss

For a little while

We must now endure

 

One day soon

As we look up

You’ll come riding in to save

 

And we’ll rise above

As your children who love

That miraculous day of days

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Silence the Voice Shame

~ Marie Blair ~ Leave a comment

They said he would come after me and they were right. He was waiting outside as I hesitantly emerged from the high school girls’ locker room. I was relieved to see a group of people there. Someone was sure to step in if they saw a seventeen-year-old boy harming a fourteen-year-old girl.

It all started a few days earlier when I said something to a mutual “friend” about a young man’s looks. It was a naïve, but derogatory, comment that my “friend” reported to him. I heard that he was going to confront me about it and put me in my place.

As I took a few steps out of the dark locker room into the brightness of that sunny day, this tough guy greeted me with a full-handed slap across my right cheek. I was totally shocked and in intense pain.  As stunning as the assault was that no one lifted their voice or a finger to help me. I was alone, in pain and publicly humiliated. I heard no one defending me. The only voice I heard was the sinister voice of shame.

The Impact of Shame

The voice of shame tells us that we are something bad. It is different from the guilt that we feel when we do something bad. Shame may accompany guilt for a while and that is normal. But feelings of shame can linger long after an incident is over. Even after we have confessed and turned from our sin, if that was the issue. We can also feel a sense of embarrassment and shame for no apparent reason.

Shame can create an insatiable desire for approval. It provokes us to perform to please others. It keeps us from reporting our abusers. It causes us to fear exposure and rejection. Shame robs us of the joy of forgiveness. It can dominate our thoughts, shutting out the loving voice of the Holy Spirit. Shame has done all this to me, so I know how it operates.

The Story of My Shame

I started to believe that I was not good enough when I was a child. My dad was easily angered and did not allow opinions contrary to his. My four siblings teased me as the baby of the family. My peers criticized my looks, and I was always nearly the last to be chosen when teams were picked. Boys that I liked rejected me. Then that older boy slapped me, and no one stepped in. I could go on.

Early in my life I decided that something must be inherently wrong with me. Maybe you came to the same conclusion about yourself. That was shame talking to us.

Shame did not stop there in my life. After being married for only a few months when I was twenty-one, my new husband decided he was done with marriage, so I was out. Angry and hurt, I then pursued nearly any guy who would bother with me, even virtual strangers.

I know now that shame’s voice is what lured me into that dark place. I had given up on being loved and accepted, so I settled for the fleeting pleasure of being used for a while. I ended up with a stack of shame a mile high and very little hope.

But God graciously met me in that valley of despair. He loved me into his arms where I have found acceptance and comfort throughout the many years since. But shame still screams at me from time to time tempting me to listen to its lies.

Silence the Voice of Shame

A New Identity

A few days after that young man hit me when I was a freshman in high school, my older brother, who was a senior, enlisted a couple of his friends and confronted him about it. He never bothered me again. Knowing my big brother stood up for me helped to dull the sting of my shame.

Jesus is a loving big brother to those who put their faith in him. He stood up for us against shame on the cross and provides a way out of it for good. (Hebrews 2:11-15) But we must lay hold of that deliverance. One of the first steps to doing so is to deny what shame says and believe God instead.

The Bible is full of the good things God says about us. But those encouraging words can be hard to accept when we have listened to the degrading voice of shame all our lives. Sometimes pride can tempt us to hold onto our old familiar, shame-filled identity. We may get some strange pleasure out of feeling sorry for ourselves over the bad things we have experienced.

But if we humble ourselves, let go of the past and choose to believe God’s voice, we will hear about a wonderful, new identity. The identity that he gives us as his loved, honored, and accepted child.

Start to Silence Shame

God changes and heals us by many means: prayer, worship, fellowship and his Word. I believe that the Bible is the most reliable and stable of these. It is a rock that never changes. (Matthew 7:24) Meditating on it teaches us who God is and who we are. It lowers the volume of shame and increases the volume of the love of God.

Here are just a few simple but powerful, biblical truths we can meditate on to begin to silence shame:

  • I am not ashamed. God says he removes the shame of my youth. (Isaiah 54:4)
  • I do not have to hide from others. God invites me to hide in him and be safe. (Psalm 32:7)
  • I am not rejected. God gladly chooses me and loves me. (Colossians 3:12)
  • I am not dirty. God says I am completely clean. (Ephesians 5:26)

Shame is cruel. It belittles us and whispers that we are substandard. It sneers at us and makes us want to hide. Shame has a loud voice, but it does not have the last word.

3 Keys to Conquer Rejection

~ Marie Blair ~ Leave a comment

“Then all the disciples forsook him and fled”. Matthew 26:56 ESV

When Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, every one of his disciples abandoned him.

Even after three years of walking the same road, sharing countless meals and hearing life-changing words spoken directly to them.

After Jesus invited them to share in his miracle-working, world-transforming mission.

After he freely offered them hope for each day and eternal life in his kingdom.

After he was patient with their short-comings, ignorance and unbelief.

After they promised never to leave. They all did just that. They ran away to protect themselves, leaving their teacher, friend and savior behind.

But being rejected by his friends at that harrowing moment didn’t deter the Lord one bit.

Jesus Knew What Was Coming and Didn’t Flinch

Jesus wasn’t deterred because he was prepared. We see this in Mark 14:27-31:

And Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away, for it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ 28 But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” 29 Peter said to him, “Even though they all fall away, I will not.” 30 And Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.” 31 But he said emphatically, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And they all said the same. (Mark 14:27-31 ESV)

Their spirits were willing, but their flesh was weak (Matthew 26:41). You know the story. Peter follows Jesus as he is questioned about being a follower. But he emphatically denies even knowing him. He couldn’t even admit his association with Jesus to a lowly servant girl.

We have all denied Jesus in one way or another, and it is painful when we realize what we have done. We choose temporary human acceptance over God’s everlasting acceptance over and over. We are insecure and ashamed.

But let’s not get into that right now. Instead, let’s camp out on what Jesus did when frail humans like us preserved themselves and abandoned him.

Long before he prayed in Gethsemane for the last time, Jesus had prepared himself to be all alone with his pain on the night he was betrayed.

Yes, he chided Peter, James and John for not being able to stay awake and pray with him for a while as he agonized over his upcoming death. But even though he wanted their support as he prayed, he was never dependent on it.

Jesus knew what was in man (John 2:24) and he knew better than to entrust himself to them. He also knew from the beginning who would betray him (John 6:64).

But none of his foreknowledge about Peter or Judas or anyone who turned away from him changed how he lived his life or how he carried out his mission. He wouldn’t let it.

Standing Strong in Spite of Rejection

in John 8:28-29 during a conversation with the Pharisees, we find out how Jesus was able to stay strong during his time of greatest need, despite the massive rejection all the disciples.

28 So, Jesus said to them, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he, and that I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me. 29 And he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.”

We can glean these three nuggets from those two verses:

  • What Jesus came to do was God’s idea, not his own.
  • Jesus carried out his mission just the way he was taught by his Father.
  • Jesus was never alone or abandoned because his Father was always with him.

When we are rejected, abandoned or betrayed by people who are supposed to love us, we can follow the example of Jesus. We can stand secure not letting mistreatment by others get us off track.

If we implement these 3 keys, no one can stop us from being and doing everything God has planned for us.

3 Keys to Conquer Rejection

  1. Remember that God has called you for a unique purpose and mission. (Ephesians 2:10)
  2. Rejoice that he gives you his Word and Spirit to guide you every step of the way. (John 14:26)
  3. Rest assured that your Father will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5-6)

In our darkest hour, we have hope. The coming of a bright dawn is inevitable. It may be dark on Friday, but Sunday’s coming!

Welcome, Spring!

~ Marie Blair ~ Leave a comment

 

Spring, burst open with your symphony

Of tender grass and youthful leaves

That yearn to explode into sight

Declaring new life to all who might

See with open hearts and curious minds

What God sees

 

Cherry blossom, soft and pink

Whispers hope as it withers and sinks

To the ground it goes

Sacrificing self to usher in the flow

Of things to come as God is moving

We wait for more

 

Revealing mysteries large and small

Through grass and leaf and blossom all

God showing us transcendent truths

In the joy of spring and its blissful youth

Hope, splendor, new birth is here

To set us free

 

The Best Way to Refresh Your Bible Reading

~ Marie Blair ~ Leave a comment

 

Some days when I read my Bible, it’s like white noise instead of a beautiful melody. I’m sure you can relate. There are times that it just doesn’t penetrate.

When this happens, I love to do something I learned to do in Bible college when I had the blessing of digging deep into the Word every day. I research the original language and study the individual words.

This kind of search always leads me to a wonderful spiritual nugget that I hadn’t discovered before.

Back in the day, doing these mini word studies meant that I’d have to haul out the physical Strong’s concordance (alphabetical listing of every word in the bible with some basic definitions and where they are found) and my Greek and Hebrew lexicons (dictionaries).

But now, with Bible study apps, it’s easy as pie to dig deeper and be blessed! My favorite is Blue Letter Bible (BLB). By the way, I’m not affiliated with them in any way. I just love the Bible and I love their app and I want to share how easy it makes studying!

There are tools within the app to help you get the most from what you are reading. The one I use all the time is the Interlinear tool. It shows you the Hebrew or Greek word with the English translation and the Strong’s concordance reference number next to it.

Here’s how to use it and get more from your Bible reading!

  1. Open the Blue Letter Bible app.
  2. Search for the passage or word you want to study.
  3. Click on the verse and up pops the tools page.
  4. Click “Interlinear”.
  5. Click on the word in the verse you want to explore.

The concordance and lexicon information is then right at your fingertips. You’ll see how each word is used in the Bible and where, which English words are used to translate it, plus historical uses of that word, and much more.

Then, armed with all the word treasure uncovered, I take one verse or a passage and paraphrase it.

So, instead of a word-for-word translation, as the best Bibles are translated, I end up with an expression of the same meaning of a passage but using different words. That’s a paraphrase.

With a paraphrase, you have a fresh new way of seeing and experiencing the Bible! The Living Bible and The Message are examples of paraphrased Bibles and they are wildly popular for this reason.

Of course, the original wording of the Bible is a masterpiece and can never be improved upon. But I find that using a paraphrase freshens my understanding and opens up new thoughts and revelation about a passage, while keeping the intent of the original writer intact.

Try it out! I think you’ll be blessed.

Here is a paraphrase of Psalm 23 as an example. I pray you try creating your own paraphrase and enjoy!

Psalm 23

The Lord is my caring companion, I have everything I need.

He gives me rest in young meadows.

He leads me to peaceful streams.

My heart is refreshed.

He guides to right paths for the honor of his name.

Even if my route leads me through a gorge of deep darkness,

I won’t be afraid of calamity.

Your protection and support put me at ease.

You set up an extravagant banquet in front of me even during my affliction.

You lavish me with acceptance. I am saturated with abundance.

Nothing but blessings and kindness will pursue me always.

And I will be at home in the family of the Lord to the end.

Let me know if you try it and what you find. I’d love to hear your comments.

Please like and share if you’ve been helped by this post! Thank you!

-Marie

Unearth the Treasure in Your Trial

~ Marie Blair ~ Leave a comment

This article was originally published at Gospel-Centered Discipleship .

It was a dream come true. The perfect business opportunity came to us shortly after my husband was laid off his job due to company downsizing. We would have to relocate from our life-long home in sunny California to not-so-sunny Michigan, but I was completely on board.

So, we sold our home, packed up a house full of belongings, and headed east with bright-eyed anticipation for a new life. As a homeschooling mom, I was ecstatic because we would be living on five wooded acres. It was perfect for our home-learning lifestyle. We were convinced that the Lord was leading the way for our family. We fully expected not just to survive but to thrive.

However, along with the first bitterly cold winter in the suburbs of Detroit, came the stark reality that this endeavor was not heading in the direction we had planned. Unless the Lord worked a miracle, the whole plan would fail.

The Best Laid Plans . . .

My husband had always dreamed of going into business for himself. He had been in corporate leadership positions before, but never had enough clout to make a difference. He believed that if he had a chance to be a major decision-maker in a company, he could make the organization, and himself, a success.

This exact kind of opportunity presented itself when Christian friends from Michigan approached my husband with a brilliant business concept for a high-tech, nationwide identity verification system. Being the techie he is, my husband was thrilled. The business plan seemed tight. The partners had decades of business experience. The idea was a surefire win, and my husband would be the Chief Operations Officer.

But within six months, the partners’ vital connections in the industry failed. One of the partners reneged on his part of the funding, became combative with the other partners, and then dropped out. Things unraveled almost before they began. This business was going nowhere.

Looking back, we see our mistakes, bad judgment and ambition. We had foolishly put our hope in a set of circumstances, assuming God would bless them. At the time, though, all we saw were hopes dashed and dreams destroyed.

Between investing in the business and living off our savings for a year and a half, we ended up broke. Our marriage suffered. He tried getting another job in Michigan but couldn’t. My ideal home-learning lifestyle on our wooded acres would have to be abandoned. I felt like we were now out in the middle of nowhere, with no way home.

Confused by Contradiction

But through those excruciating days, I learned invaluable lessons that saved my sanity, my marriage, and my faith. All I could see all around me was a devastating loss, but God was clearing the path for far greater gain—a grander concept of who he is, and deeper insight into how he loves.

My biggest challenge was confusion over the apparent contradiction I was witnessing. We believed God directed us to make this huge move, and we obeyed. I thought that meant favorable circumstances and success would follow. Instead, we had financial trouble and marital conflict.

I blamed my husband. He had assured me the gigantic risk we were taking would pay off. I trusted him and followed him across the country to this desolate place. I knew in my mind that God hadn’t forsaken me, but I couldn’t reconcile what I was experiencing with what I expected.

I remember sitting shyly at the county government aid offices, waiting to be interviewed about my application to receive financial assistance. Not a soul in the world knew me there, but still, I wished I had worn a disguise. I was ashamed. But more than anything, I was desperate for help.

Doubting Disciples

I did receive help, including an attitude correction, from a story at the end of the fourth chapter of the Gospel of Mark. After a long day of ministry beside the sea, Jesus and the disciples set out across the water toward the country of the Gerasenes. Jesus told his friends where to aim the boat and then he laid down to rest.

When a violent windstorm suddenly arose, and water flooded their vessel, the disciples believed their lives were in danger. They woke Jesus, incredulous that he could sleep through such an emergency: “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mark 4:38).

I imagine the disciples thought Jesus had abandoned them. He appeared to be ignoring their peril, after all. They might have questioned why in the world he would bring them out onto the water only to let them be overtaken by the violent waves and die. I could relate.

Painful, confusing circumstances challenge our belief in the imperishability of the love of God. They certainly challenged mine when things did not go our way in Michigan. The business was not taking off as expected and our savings were draining fast. Where did we go wrong?

I thought if we followed the Lord’s leading everything would work out. I was tempted, like the frightened disciples, to question God’s tender care. Despite their doubt, the disciples were treated to an astonishing demonstration of power and authority as Jesus quickly calmed that storm on the Sea of Galilee: “And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm” (Mark 4:39).

Jesus has all authority to command the wind and the waves. Thunderstorms are at his command. They subside merely at his word. However, I have found that the Lord typically doesn’t deliver us from trouble as speedily as he did that day. When he chooses not to rescue us right away, he has something greater for us right there amidst our storm.

A Life-Raft in the Storm

After Jesus calmed the wind and waves, he asked the disciples two piercing questions: “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” (Mark 4:40).

These men spent a lot of time with Jesus and witnessed astonishing things. They recently watched him cleanse lepers and heal a paralytic’s body and a man’s withered hand. They heard him stand up to the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and cast out demons with authority. Yet they still did not understand who he was, and how much he cared for them.

In my fear and doubt during our rough seas in Michigan, I sensed Jesus asking me the same, probing, doubt-revealing questions about my lack of faith that he asked the disciples. Why are you so afraid, Marie? Have you still no faith?

I searched my Bible for a life preserver of understanding. I started to grasp that “all things working together for good” includes our sins and the sins of others against us (Rom. 8:28). When our decisions lead to our hardship, God promises to turn it around for good! Because of this, we really have no reason to torture ourselves with “what-ifs” when our choices lead to trials. There is no reason to blame others.

Slowly, it ceased to matter what went wrong, or whether we heard God correctly in going to Michigan. I started to comprehend that God’s plan encompasses even our fumbling missteps. Even—and perhaps especially—through our sins, mistakes, and bad decisions, he is transforming us into glorious images of Jesus (2 Cor. 3:15-18; Rom. 8:29; Phil. 3:21), bringing him pure delight (Luke 12:32; John 15:8-11; Col. 1:19-22). He’s always working for our ultimate good and for his eternal glory (Isa. 48:11; Rom. 8:28-29; 11:36).

Takeaway Treasure

We never did realize the exciting, new life in Michigan we had envisioned. In his mercy, the Lord opened a job opportunity for my husband back home in California, so we moved back and started over. As insufferable as that season seemed, I am grateful for it. My spiritual life and my marriage are both stronger because of what God did in and through me during that time.

That testing forged unwavering faith and godly hope in me. I learned how to trust Jesus in the middle of my storm and ride it out to the end, holding fast to him and his promises (Heb. 10:23). I learned to accept the bumps and tumbles of my life.

Next time the wind and the waves rise in your life, instead of praying for a quick rescue, consider resisting the doubts, the fears, and the desperate desire to escape. Instead, hold fast to God’s promises. Treasure them through the turmoil. Be assured that he is sovereign and he is good.

Jesus Christ is at rest in your boat, and all is well.

5 Simple Steps to Cutting Your Holiday Stress

~ Marie Blair ~ 1 Comment

Is Holiday Stress Inevitable?

The holidays can be stressful! And they’re starting earlier and earlier every year, like in September, have you noticed?

That means that the stress can start earlier as well.

I searched the internet for “holiday stress” to find advice. The articles I came across were more about what to do once you’re already stressed out, rather than how to avoid the stress in the first place. But it doesn’t’ have to be that way!

We can reduce the holiday stress by doing a few simple things before the holidays run us over!

Some simple preparation and focusing on what’s most important will go a long way to preventing that anxiety from taking the joy out of the season!

5 Steps to Cutting Holiday Stress

5 Simple Steps To Cutting Your Holiday Stress:

Step #1 → Remember the Reason for the Season

Whether you’re celebrating Hanukkah, Christmas or some other special day, remember why. It’s not really about gifts, parties or food!

Christians are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, on Christmas. He was born over 2000 years ago in an ordinary stable in a small town and laid in the animals’ feeding trough to sleep. Though he was King of Kings, he came as a humble child.

This scene of peace is meant to point us to the Savior of the world. We celebrate his birth because of what his coming to earth meant for the world – salvation. Not just at Christmas, but always.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. (Luke 2:1)

Whichever reason for the season means the most to you, if you keep it in the forefront of your mind, the stress of the season is less likely to overwhelm.

Step #2 → Schedule Family Times First

Schedule dates for your own family traditions and gatherings before committing to other holiday events. That way, it’s less likely these cherished family events don’t get pushed out by a company party you have to attend or a church volunteering commitment.

Your children will treasure these special family times forever!

You might also be interested in my 20 Fun and Meaningful Holiday Family Traditions for some ideas for memories you can create.

Step #3 → Schedule Outside Events After Family Events

  • Make sure everyone in the family is aware of the schedule, so you don’t overbook and stress out!
  • Post a physical calendar in a common location, so it’s in plain view every day.

I found a fun calendar that’s also super practical: Sandra Boynton’s Mom’s Family Calendar.

The days are in horizontal lines, instead of little squares, giving plenty of room to add everyone’s important happenings!

Click here for a closer look!

Mom’s Family Wall Calendar 2019 – $9.98

Here are some of the activities that you might need to add to your calendar during the holidays:

  • Parties with friends
  • School productions
  • School parties
  • Special religious services
  • Volunteering
  • Work-related parties
  • Vacation days
  • Extended family gatherings and more!

Step #4 → Prepare Meals Ahead and Freeze Them for Busy Nights

Make a double batch of dinner for several nights and freeze half. Then all you have to do is defrost!

If you really want to get ahead, make a couple of weeks or a month’s worth and glide right through the holidays!

Here’s a super popular cookbook that takes it to that next level. You can see more here.

Not Your Mother's Make-Ahead and Freeze Cookbook Revised and Expanded Edition by [Fisher, Jessica]
Not Your Mother’s Make-Ahead and Freeze Cookbook

Step #5 → Give Yourself a Break!

Add relaxation, rest and rejuvenation into your schedule.

  • Schedule time that isn’t focused on the season. Not everything has to be holiday-themed! Take a break.
  • Exercise. It’s a stress-reducer, especially if you can get outside and enjoy the fresh air and beauty around you at the same time.
  • Don’t trade sleep for tasks. Your body needs good rest to replenish its stores of energy. Pare down the schedule if it’s interfering.
  • Eat well. We sometimes grab what’s in front of us when we’re busy and it’s usually not that healthy. Keep fresh fruits, veggies and nuts around for energy-giving snacks.
  • Relax. Get a quick 15-minute shoulder and neck massage while you’re at the mall or schedule and hour! Or, click here to treat yourself to one of these so the gift just keeps giving! My son gave me one of these neck massagers this year and it’s an oasis of relaxation!
Massagers for Neck and Back with Heat  $64.95
  • Remind yourself that you’re not in a competition. In many ways, our culture has manufactured the stress of the holidays. You don’t have to participate in the race!
  • Accept that you can’t do it all. It’s just not humanly possible to accomplish everything on the to-do list before Christmas. It’s OK!
  • Enjoy! laugh and have fun as much as you can. If your kids are small, ignore their tantrums (they get stressed, too) an focus on the wonder.

Hope these 5 Simple Steps To Cutting Stress Out of Your Holidays have helped you!

If so, would you please share this post? Thank you!

See also:  20 Fun and Meaningful Holiday Family Traditions

I’d love to hear some of the ways you cut stress during holidays in the comments below.